Saturday, June 8, 2019

The Third Son of a Third Son...Your Birth Story

It's hard to believe you've been here for a little over 4 weeks... tomorrow you will be one month old.  You have been pure joy, my child, pure joy.  Watching your big brothers love on you and care for you has grown my heart in ways that I didn't know were possible.  Oh how we prayed for you.  And you will never understand what a gift you are to your daddy and me.  I always knew I wanted a house full of youngins.  Being an only child, the chaos and wrestling and volume and mess and full table were always a draw for me.  After your brother turned 18 months, we knew we were ready to try again.  We didn't know it would take a year and heartache to conceive you.  But there we were, September 2018, dancing on the table with 3 positive pregnancy tests, choosing joy and hope over fear.  Every moment in anticipation of your arrival was a song of thanksgiving to our good God, because that is what He is, always, no matter the circumstances-- GOOD!

I knew your birth story would look dramatically different than your brothers.  You would be a scheduled c-section.  There would be no labor pains, hours of pushing, and hours of waiting for you to make your appearance.  Although, knowing the exact time and date of our going to the hospital felt a little strange to me, and I can honestly say, I felt a bit more anxious.  The evening of May 8, as I laid your brothers down for bed for the last time with you inside my womb and you know I cried.  Change.  It was coming.  And I knew you would be just fine, and after months of prayer, I knew the rest of us would be, too.  I laid your brothers down as babies that night, and when I came home with you from the hospital, I was greeted by two young men, little boys still, but grown and different, ready to take on their new role but struggling with this new identity and how they would fit in to it.  How they have blossomed!

We were scheduled to be at the hospital at 10 am May 9.  That morning, we woke up with our family of four, all in the bed, and just spent time snuggling and talking and giggling, anticipating what you might look like, if you would look more like mommy or daddy or one of your brothers.  We ate breakfast, I got ready and finished packing my bags for the hospital and did my best to hold back the tears as I took one last look in the mirror with you in my belly and your brothers kissing you, telling you that they would see you soon. We hugged and kissed right up to time to leave, gave MawMaw hugs and kisses, too, and were off to the hospital.  It was too short of a ride... only 3 or 4 blocks.  Your daddy prayed for you and me, for the doctors and nurses, and the tears came flooding.  18 months of praying for you and in a few short hours, you would be in our arms.  I worked to compose myself as your daddy dropped me off at the door and went to park the car.  We walked to the door of the maternity ward, pushed the button and to the nurses question of "can I help you?" we responded with, "We're here to have a baby!"

Everything moved pretty quickly after arrival.  We went straight in to a nice big room, I put on a hospital gown, and the nurses began asking questions, drawing blood, hooking me up to an IV,  and prepping me for surgery.  Around 12 PM, the time surgery was scheduled to begin, we were still in the room, waiting for the surgeons to come in and roll us back to the operating room.  I had an awful pain in the left side of my belly and the monitor lost your heart rate.  The nurse came in to move the belt around to find where you had moved to and I told her of the awful pain I was experiencing.  A contraction! I was secretly thrilled.  I know that sounds absurd but I had been praying for some normalcy to your birth.  And for me, this was it.  We found your heart beat again, you were fine, and the surgeons came in to take us back.  I kissed your daddy as we left him waiting for them to prep me.  In no time, they had numbed me, had me on the table and were calling your daddy back in.  As I laid there looking into your daddy's eyes and we talked and waited, at 12:40 PM on May 9, 2019, hearing your first cry was one of the most beautiful sounds to ever grace my ears.  You were here.  And you were perfect. 8 lbs and 21 inches of pure perfection.  In our arms we held an answered prayer, a gift from the Lord, our beloved Ames Mosley.  

Another prayer was answered as we were the first c-section to be allowed to recover in our room.  You and your daddy were waiting on me and I was able to hold and nurse you immediately.  Not 2-3 hours after I was able to move my legs again.  But right then.  And it was the greatest gift.  You were the quietest, sweetest little thing.  I don't believe you made a peep then entire hospital stay.  You nursed well.  You slept well.  Like, I said, you were perfect and we were in awe of you.  And 4 weeks later, we are still in awe of you.

Your brothers couldn't wait to get to the hospital to meet you.  And when they were able to come, only a few hours after your birth, they greeted you with hugs and kisses and you know Ezra couldn't keep his hands off of your face.  MawMaw was equally smitten.  The boys came to visit you every day we were in the hospital, before and after nap.  They ate almost all of my food, I certainly won't forget that, but they were just over the moon excited.  Your daddy changed almost every diaper and got up with you all throughout the night.  He walked with you, sang to you, and just talked to you.  And as I watched him fall in love with you, I was falling in love with him all over again.  

The pain from this c-section was the worst, but looking into your deep blue eyes,  and with your daddy's help and overwhelming love and grace, only days after, I was over it.   What a lesson that pain was, though.  I felt so weak.  But I was constantly reminded that when I am weak, the Lord is strong.  And He was- and is!  He was my and  your daddy's strength those long months we waited and prayed for you, He was our strength as we hoped for you, He was our strength in every tear and every joyous ultrasound and heartbeat heard.  And He is your strength, too, sweet boy.  In Ephesians we read, "Be strong in the Lord, and in His mighty power."  May you always find your strength in Him, and when you are weak- and you recognize it- only then will you be truly strong.  You are so loved. Always have been, always will be.  And oh how you have completed us.

Friday, July 15, 2016

A Bad Case of Identity Crisis

Y'all, it has been a rough week.  The days have seemed long, and the nights, late. Lots of piled up laundry and dirty dishes, toddler and adult tantrums (me...not the hubby).  Going to bed without cleaning the kitchen, which I despise, leaving a candle burning all night...I'm done with candles by the way, but praise God for His protection and never ending mercies.  

Just one of those weeks.  

It has been a productive one.  I completed a mural in the boys room and got several orders filled for Etsy and neighbors, but productivity comes at a cost with little ones sometimes.  And that cost this week was what could have been some precious moments with my boys and a bit of my sanity.  Looking back, I see that my focus was mostly on my failures.  I saw the mess as opposed to the blessing, I chose to see more ashes than beauty I guess you could say.  Feelings of inadequacies and frustrations, upset with myself for not reacting how I would have liked or for being more truth and less grace...Ticked off that I believed the lie.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A Story About a Prodigal Son and a Weepy Mother Continued

Hello friend!  Back to my story from yesterday... So we were reading the story of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15.  In the Storybook Bible, it's only a 4 page story, and by page 3, I was a blubbering mess y'all.  I could hardly get the words out. 

 Now, don't go thinking, "Wow I'm impressed..she gets an 18 month old and a 3 month old to listen to a 4 page story and I can't even get my kid to look at me for 2 seconds to wipe his face off?" Neither can I, of course neither of the boys are old enough to really understand what I am reading or really even pay attention.  Little bear was building block towers on Spiderman's lap and baby bear was kicking and cooing over the hanging mobile above him, but I was completely enthralled by the love of the Father, and overwhelmed by an immense amount of joy for a child returning home.  

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

A Story about the Prodigal Son and a Weepy Mother

Every morning, after coffee and breakfast have been fixed for the hubby and he's out the door and off to work, after diapers have been changed, after the babe has nursed and little bear has had his fill of cheerios, milk, and whatever was fixed for breakfast, we head to the playroom for an hour or so of early morning play time still in our jammies.  

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I Finally Tried the Milk Paint

I know what you're thinking... "You did what?  You are just now trying milk paint, Nicole?  Have you been hiding under a rock or something?" Look people, this is probably one of the first projects I have gotten my hands on in 2 years. I have had two precious babes in 14 months, so sure, I've had projects. Most of which have consisted of brushing my teeth before bedtime, applying makeup, fixing my hair, and by fixing my hair I mean taking it out of the top knot from the day before and putting it back into a new, fresh top knot, and preparing PB&J's or Pimento Cheese sandwiches 3 out of 5 days of the week for lunches.  These count as projects, right?  

Friday, May 13, 2016

Man Cub Number 2's Birth Story

I should have started writing this long before you were 7 weeks old…truth is, I’ve been a little busy! You and your brother are keeping me busy and I have never been more joy-filled than I am right now. Even as I am writing this, Myles is down for a nap and you are napping on my chest…probably because you just spent the last 30 minutes filling your tummy!  Even though you are now 7 weeks old, the story of you coming into this world is just as fresh as if it had happened yesterday…so here goes!

Friday, November 6, 2015

A Little Heart-to-Heart over Coffee

  Goodness, I have missed you friend!  It's been a long 5 months and SO much has happened.  Little man is down for his morning snooze so I figured a little chat with you over coffee would be nice...we have some catching up to do!  If you were sitting with me right now, well, I'd be a little embarrassed.  Toys are everywhere, I'm still in my pj's, hairs a mess, and I haven't gotten around to brushing my teeth yet, but I would sure love your company.  For your sake, it's probably best that you are only reading this.  

  Where do we start.  I guess I can bring you up to date on all of the changes going on with our growing boy.  Our last chat was in May...I'm so sorry.  Bless you for being so patient with me, with my rants and whining, and for bearing with me in my sporadic posts.  May was a rough month and June, July, August, and September were pretty hard as well.  You've heard of Sleepless in Seattle, well June and July were Sleepless in North Carolina.  Teething and desiring to crawl and trying new foods kicked our backsides, along with a few other changes we weren't yet aware of.  But, we survived.